Your Guide to Self Care

We all face obstacles that test our mental stability, some more than others. When this involves loss, it’s possible to lose a sense of who we are, but before finding ourselves we must first take care of ourselves. 

How can we navigate through the rough waters? How do we come out afloat after going through the storm? I can tell you, it doesn’t happen overnight.  

Get to Know Your Struggles

Sometimes it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what’s causing turmoil. Repeated loss or tragedy can be the cause of a buildup of constant stress that takes an emotional toll. 

Instead of allowing the struggle to overcome you, ask yourself the following questions so you can start to heal. 

1. How is this struggle affecting my emotional and mental stability?

2. How is it affecting my physical health?

3. Has it challenged my relationships with my family, work, friends, etc.?

Then, set a time each day where you write down what you are struggling with. Don’t forget to balance the negative with the positive by noting what you have achieved or a goal you hope to meet. A goal can be as simple as getting dressed, getting out of the house or going to the grocery store. 

Everyone’s goals are different. Set your own benchmarks, whether it’s waking up at a certain time, reading your morning newspaper or your favorite blog, drinking your coffee on the patio or down the street at your favorite spot, volunteering, meeting a friend, getting your nails done, taking your pet for a walk, running errands, going to the movies, or finding a new hobby.

Having something to look forward to provides motivation to push ourselves harder. If you live alone and rely on yourself to be your own motivator, it can be even harder to push forward. Committing to something outside of your home is a great way to force yourself to get dressed and go. Get creative!

Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

As you work through your struggles, it’s important to give yourself permission to feel however you need to feel. Allow yourself to feel depressed, sad, angry, or whatever emotions you’re experiencing. It’s normal!

Also give yourself permission to take all the time you need to work through the healing process. We’ve all heard the saying, “Time heals all wounds.” Well, time does not heal all wounds; it’s what we do with the time that heals. 

Remember that loss has no timeline. There is no such thing as, “I should be over this.” Once you take the pressure off yourself, that is when healing begins.

It’s hard to feel the warmth of the sun and see the brightness of the day when you’re drowning in quick sand. There may be days where you’re gasping for air, consumed by anxiety with no passageway for joy to seep in. It may feel like you will never get through it, but you will.